CAN you build a better character? Absolutely, say proponents of positive psychology. You are likely to be happier, healthier, and more fulfilled if you become aware of and work toward enhancing your signature qualities. Positive psychology celebrates your strengths and virtues, traits like love, prudence, creativity, and leadership.
Becoming aware of your own positive character traits is the first step toward making the most out of them. If you know that you love of learning, kindness, and leadership are among your strong points, you might flourish in a job that involved teaching, for instance. If creativity and the appreciation of beauty and excellence are your virtues, you are likely to make the most of them with a career or hobby that gives you an opportunity to express yourself.
We’ve chosen 10 of the 24 traits outlined in Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification, published by the Oxford University Press in 2004, to explore with you. See which ones apply to you and follow the suggested action steps to make the most of them.
Love of Learning: A fervor for acquiring new skills, satisfying curiosity, and building on knowledge.
Follow your inquisitiveness. Make a list of three things you enjoy or value, and choose one you’d like to know more about or be better at. Having a practical purpose can be a big motivator. Always wanted to learn Italian? Sign up for a language course, and plan to reward yourself with a trip overseas so you can put your new skills to use.
Creativity: A flair for producing something new, surprising or unusual.
The key is to let your inhibitions go. Whether you try painting, writing, and playing music, or dancing, do it with a playful spirit. Also, try new things just for the fun of it, and don’t judge your work. Get together with others learning the same skill and help each other in the learning process.
Humility and Modesty: Recognizing the true measure of your abilities and achievements and appreciating those of others.
First write down the three traits you absolutely love about yourself. Then write down the names of three friends you most admire, and list the traits you most appreciate in them. Put a plus sign beside the characteristics you share and minus sign beside those you wish you had.
Humor: The ability to find something to laugh at even in times of trouble, and a knack for helping others do the same.
Watch a funny movie or your favorite sitcom. Read an amusing book; laugh at yourself by identifying three of your goofiest quirks and describing them in a journal. Share them with a friend and invite them to add their own goofy traits.
Persistence: The strength to work toward a goal in the face of obstacles, difficulties, or discouragement.
If you’ve tried and failed at something that matters to you- whether it’s losing weight or sticking to your New Year’s resolution—think about what didn’t work and how to do better next time. Research shows that people who take responsibility for both their successes and failures are most likely to persevere.
Gratitude: A sense of thankfulness.
Instead of counting sheep when the lights go out, count your blessings. Think of three things you’re grateful for that happened during the day: a friendly word, good news at work, any small success. Set aside a few minutes once a week to give thanks for what you’ve got. Some people like to do this ritual in the shower. I like to do it when I go to bed, and have it be the last thing I think about before falling asleep.
Forgiveness: The capacity for letting go of hurt and anger.
Write a forgiveness letter. First, think about someone who hurt you in the past. Feel that anger you felt at the time of when it happened. Then write a letter explaining your feelings and stating that you forgive the person. Don’t send it – just the act of writing the letter, experts say, will jump –start the healing process.
Appreciation of beauty and excellence: The ability to recognize and take pleasure in the good things in life.
Stop and smell the roses, literally, if there happens to be a garden in bloom nearby. Set aside a morning or afternoon to do nothing but savor something: walk in the woods, listen to music you love, or visit an art gallery.
Spirituality: The belief in a transcendent dimension of life.
You don’t have to go to church to tap your spiritual side. Devote 10 minutes a day to meditation first thing in the morning or just before bed; this can be prayer or simply quiet contemplation that allows you to go beyond yourself. Try stating the things you are grateful about, as mentioned above. Then quit your mind and focusing on just your breathing.
Vitality: A feeling of energy and aliveness.
Get up and do something. Nothing enhances a sense of vitality more than physical activity, especially one you love. Even an exhausting gym workout can be exhilarating. Don’t like the gym? Go for a hike, take a bike ride through the park, or do a circuit of the neighborhood.
