Having Weak Boundaries and Blaming THEM is a problem!
It’s so easy for us to blame others for our own weak boundaries. To think THEY are the problem. When really… IT’S ALL US!
It’s us… not setting the strong, healthy boundary, or setting a boundary but not doing it with confidence and conviction.
In some cases, people may ignore our boundaries as a way of testing our resolve or assertiveness. They might push boundaries to see how we react or if we’ll enforce our limits, especially if they perceive us as someone who is easily manipulated or a habitual people-pleaser.
If you are new to setting boundaries, then they will easily be ignored, because people are used to you letting them get their way.
That’s where doing something about it becomes important. Standing up to loved ones that are used to crossing your boundaries may be difficult and you may be ignored at first, but keep doing it and they will get it. It might mean you have to cut them off or leave the situation to make them realize you are serious about
The Role of Blame:
When someone fails to honor our boundaries, it’s natural to experience a range of emotions, including frustration, anger, and disappointment. It’s easy to blame the other person for their actions and perceive them as disrespectful or insensitive. However, it’s essential to recognize that blaming others solely for boundary violations overlooks our own agency and responsibility in the situation.
Blaming others can serve as a defense mechanism to protect our ego and avoid confronting uncomfortable truths. It allows us to deflect accountability and preserve our sense of self-righteousness. However, placing blame solely on the other person inhibits our ability to explore deeper underlying issues and find constructive solutions.
Moving Forward with Empowerment:
Rather than succumbing to blame or resentment, approaching boundary violations with curiosity and self-reflection can lead to greater empowerment and growth. Ask yourself:
- Did I clearly communicate my boundaries and expectations?
- Was there any ambiguity or room for misunderstanding?
- How can I assertively reiterate my boundaries and reinforce their importance?
- What can I learn from this experience to strengthen my boundary-setting skills in the future?
By taking ownership of our boundaries and responses to boundary violations, we reclaim our agency and cultivate healthier relationships built on mutual respect and understanding. Remember, setting boundaries is not about controlling others’ behavior but about honoring and prioritizing your own well-being.
Boundary violations can be challenging to navigate, but they also present opportunities for self-discovery and empowerment. Rather than defaulting to blame when someone disregards your boundaries, consider the broader context, communication dynamics, and your own role in the situation. By approaching boundary-setting with clarity, assertiveness, and self-awareness, you can cultivate relationships that honor your autonomy and foster mutual respect.
If it feels scary for you to set strong boundaries with others, hop on a call with me and we’ll plan out a roadmap for how to shed the fears that keep you fromsetting healthy boundries in your personal life and at work. Click here to book your free call and get ready to reclaim your time and energy!
In Be Your OWN Yes Woman, we dive deep into how to shed these fears that keep us from living our authentic selves. We go over strategies for setting boundaries, saying no without guilt, and prioritizing your well-being. Remember, a healthy you is a more effective you, in all your relationships.
I’m Donna, a Wellness Coach…
I broke free from living a life of accommodating everyone else’s needs…
to living a life on my own terms, every single day. It then became my mission to help as many women as possible to find self love, live life on their own terms and still be loving and giving to others.
#HavingWeakBoundaries
