Poor Boundaries Examples: Excuses Give Your Power Away

Poor Boundaries Examples: Excuses Give Your Power Away

Seeking poor boundaries examples? Drop me a comment below for the complete list of all nine indicators you have poor boundaries. I’ll reply with a link.

Do you find yourself using excuses when you say No?  And giving in depth explanations? Excuses are weak and give your power away. Using excuses is one example of having poor boundaries. 

“Oh, I would have loved to! But, I’ve got to help my Dad out on Friday. He’s really slowing down and needs my help a LOT these days. Yeah, I am just so busy these days!”

Excuses are weak. And the requests for your time will keep coming. If you use an excuse this time, they’re going to come back to you another time 

with another request or invitation.

You first have to decide if this is someone you actually WANT to spend time with. If it’s someone you don’t want to spend time with, then definitely DROP the excuses. You don’t have to tell them, that you don’t want to spend time with them. But give them a REAL and authentic response. Not an excuse, or white lie.

Tell them what’s really going on for you. Have that response ready to go, so you are equipped when the requests come up. For example,” Hey, thanks for the invite, but my priority right now is launching my business. Or, “My priority right now is my health and fitness routine. Or, “My focus right now is on my kids.”

Basically, come up with something that is true for you and something you know you would rather be doing than spending time with them. They’re going to get the idea that these other activities are more important to you than spending time with them. Yet it’s still not a huge blow on them.

If it’s someone you do want to spend time with, but you just don’t want to this time, then say the same thing, but add… I would love to another time.

Here are five examples illustrating poor boundaries:

Overly accommodating behavior: Constantly saying yes to others’ requests, even at the expense of their own well-being. This could include regularly sacrificing personal time, resources, or energy to meet others’ needs without considering their own limits or desires.

Difficulty saying no: Struggling to assert their own needs or preferences and frequently agreeing to things they don’t want to do. This can lead to feelings of resentment, stress, and overwhelm as they prioritize others’ needs over their own.

Tolerating disrespect: Allowing others to cross their boundaries without consequence or standing up for themselves. This might involve enduring verbal abuse, manipulation, or invasive behavior from friends, family members, or partners without setting clear boundaries or enforcing consequences.

Lack of self-care: Neglecting their own physical, emotional, and mental well-being in favor of meeting the demands and expectations of others. This could manifest as ignoring signs of burnout, neglecting personal hygiene, or failing to seek support or help when needed.

Difficulty expressing emotions: Struggling to communicate their feelings, preferences, and boundaries effectively, leading to misunderstandings and frustration in relationships. This might involve suppressing emotions, avoiding conflict, or downplaying their own needs to avoid confrontation or discomfort.

These examples highlight how poor boundaries can manifest in various aspects of a person’s life, impacting their relationships, self-esteem, and overall quality of life.

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