Why Do People People Please?

There are a number of reasons why people please. Many do so out of various fears and insecurities. What are the fears for you?

Are you afraid of…

* rejection

* loneliness

* abandonment

* exclusion

* scolding

* shaming

* disapproval

* becoming unloved or unliked

* conflict

* feeling unworthy

* disappointing others?

Here are some six common fears that may lead individuals to people-please:

Fear of Rejection: People-pleasers often fear rejection or abandonment if they assert themselves or express their true feelings and opinions. They may worry that setting boundaries or disagreeing with others will lead to conflict, criticism, or social exclusion.

Fear of Conflict: Conflict-averse individuals may fear confrontation and disagreement, preferring to maintain harmony in their relationships and environments. They may avoid asserting themselves or expressing their needs to prevent conflict, even if it means suppressing their own desires or values.

Fear of Disapproval or Criticism: People-pleasers may fear disapproval or criticism from others if they don’t meet their expectations or if they assert themselves. They may prioritize meeting others’ expectations over their own needs and desires to avoid negative judgment or backlash.

Fear of Not Being Liked: People-pleasers often seek external validation and approval from others to validate their self-worth. They may fear that asserting themselves or expressing their true feelings will lead to others disliking or rejecting them, so they prioritize pleasing others to gain acceptance and approval.

Fear of Failure: Some people-pleasers fear failure or making mistakes, leading them to avoid taking risks or asserting themselves in situations where they might be judged or criticized. They may prioritize avoiding failure or disappointment over pursuing their own goals or aspirations.

Fear of Abandonment: People who have experienced abandonment or rejection in the past may develop a fear of being abandoned or rejected again. They may engage in people-pleasing behavior as a way to maintain relationships and prevent others from leaving them.

Overall, people-pleasers often engage in this behavior as a way to navigate social interactions and relationships, protect themselves from perceived threats, and seek validation and acceptance from others. These fears can be deeply ingrained and may stem from past experiences, learned behaviors, or underlying insecurities. Recognizing and addressing these fears is essential for individuals to develop healthier and more authentic relationships with themselves and others.

If you struggle with always being that “nice girl”, hop on a call with me and we’ll plan out a roadmap for how to shed the fears that keep you from saying No to others in your relationships and at work. Click here to book your free call and get ready to reclaim your time and energy! https://beyourownyeswoman.com/

In Be Your OWN Yes Woman, we dive deep into how to communicate from the heart. We go over strategies for setting boundaries, saying no without guilt, and prioritizing your well-being.  Remember, a healthy you is a more effective you, in all your relationships. 

I’m Donna, a Wellness Coach… I broke free from living a life of accommodating everyone else’s needs… to living a life on my own terms, every single day. It then became my mission to help as many women as possible to find self love, live life on their own terms and still be loving and giving to others.

#WhyDoPeoplePeoplePlease